ESS 



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'^ ^ AMES' SF OF 



T^ 



jDARD and ivx.NOB DRAMA, 

No. 392. 



^Pat MeFree.4^ 



( FAECE. ) 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND EXITS, 

RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, 

DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND THE WHOLE OF THE 

STAGE BUSINESS; CAREFULLY MARKED FROM 

THE MOST APPROVED ACTING COPiT. 



PRICE 15 CENTS. 



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164 
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Arthur Eustace, 25<5.... 

A Desperate Game a 

After Ten ^ears 7 

A Life's Revenge 7 

Arrahde Baugn < 

Aurora Floyd 7 

Auld Robin Gray 25c 13 

By Force of Love 8 

Beauty of Lyons H 

Bill Detrick 7 

Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 

Brigands of Calabria 6 

.__ Broken Links 8 

272 Beyond Pardon 7 

160 Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 

5fi8 Clearing the Mists 5 

Claim Ninety-Six (96) 25c 8 

Dora 5 

Driven to the Wall 10 

Defending the Flag 11 

Daisy Garland't* Fortune 5 

Driven from Home 7 

Dutch Jake 4 

East Lynne 8 

Emigrant's Daughter 8 

Fielding Manor 9 

Gertie's Vindication 3 

Grandmother Hildebrand's 

London Assurance 9 

Legacy, 25c 5 

Gyp, The Heiress, 25c 5 

Haunted by a Shadow 8 

Hal Hazard, 25c 10 

Henry Granden. 11 

How He Did It 3 

Hidden Treasures 4 

Hunter of the Alps 9 

Hidden Hand 15 

Josh Winchester 5 

Kathleen Mavourneen 12 

Lights and Shadows ot the 

Great Rebellion, 26c 10 

Lady of Lyons 1^ 

Lady Audley's Secret b 

Little Goldie, 25c H 

_ Lost in London 6 

336 Miller's Daucrhter, 25c 7 

349 Mrs. Willis' Will • 

MyPard 6 

Man and Wife 1^ 

Maud's Peril 5 

Midnight Mistake 6 

Millie, the Quadroon 5 

Miriam's Crime 5 

Michael Erie « 

Miller of Derwent Water 5 

Mistletoe Bough 7 

Mountebanks (The) 6 

New York Book Agent 7 



310 
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343 
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362 

337 

194 



330 

261 



355 

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227 

211 

251 

163 

91 

36 

34 



NO. M. 

247 Oux Country Aunt 

223 Old Honesty 5 

81 Old Phil's Birthday o 

333 Our Kittie 6 

85 Outcast's Wife 12 



83 Out on the World 5 4 

331 Old Vf ayside Inn, The .9 6 

196 Oath Bound 6 2 

29 Painter of Ghent 5 o 

278 Penn Hapgood 10 3 

3;)1 Pelog and Peter, 25c..... 4 2 

18 Poacher's Doom 8 3 

Pheelim O'Rookes' Curse 8 3 



280 ^ „ 

5 Phyllis, the Beggar Girl 6 3 

110 Reverses 12 6 

45 Rock Allen 5 3 

363 Stub 8 3 

79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c 14 3 

275 Simple Silas .-. 6 3 

266 Sweetbrier 11 5 

336 Squire's Daughter..... 5 3 

351 'l"he Winning Hand 6 2 

144 Thekla 9 | 

318 The Adventuress 8 6 

284 The Commercial Drummer.... 6 2 
242 The Dutch Recruit 25c 14 3 

67 The False Friend 6 1 

97 The Fatal Blow 7 1 

119 The Forty-Niners 10 4 

304 The General Manager 5 5 

93 The Gentleman in Black 9 4 

314 The Haunted Mill 5 4 

112 The New Magdalen 8 3 

322 The Rhav Recruit 6 

71 The Reward of Crime 5 3 

306 The Three Hats 4 3 

105 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 

201 Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 

293 TnmBloSiiom 9 4 

193 Toodles 7 2 

277 The Musical Captain 15 2 

200 Unde Tom's Cabin 15 7 

290 Wild Mab. - 6 2 

121 Will-o'-the-Wisp, 9 4 

41 Won at Last 7 3 

192 Zion 7 4 

TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 

73 At Last '. 7 1 

75 Adrift • 5 4 

187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 6 o 

254 Dot; the Miner's Daughter... 9 5 

202 Drunkard [The] 13 5 

185 Drunkard's Warning ^ 3 

189 Drunkard's Doom lc> b 

181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
ard's Life IS I 

183 Fruits of the Wine Cup 6 3 

104 Lost.. 6 2 



ai. 



Pat MeFree, ae Irish 
Patentee. 



A FARCE 

;n one act, 



— BY 



[jBD. Parkinsi 



TO AVUICH IS ADDKD 

k DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- 
ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE EOSITIONS OF THE 
PERFOR.AIERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



Entered according to act of Congress in the iteur 1808 Jj/ 

AMES' PUBLISHING CO., 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress at 'Washington. 



AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 

CLYDE, onio: 






^AT ALcFli. 

CASJ^y 

Pat McFeee, 
Willie Eyan, 
Dick Jones, 
Beown, 
Smith, 

Sambo Black, 
James Wallace, 
Bessie, 
Della, 
Landlady. 



^69 

)s' IRLSirpATENTEK 

HAEAOTERS. 

Tlie Irish Patentee. 

A Iroken down actor. 

An unfortunate Comedian. 

Two iindert alters. 

The coon hustler. 

Tragedian. 

" - " A waiter. 

- - - Insane. 



TIME OF PLAYING— 35 minutes. 



COSTUMES. 



Pat. — Irish suit. 

James Eyan.— Business suit. 

Dick Jones.— Eagged and dirty. 

Brown and Smith. — Long coats and high plug hats. 
, Sambo. — Eed flannel shirt, checkered pants, large shoes, 
no hat. 

_ Billie Wallace. — Plat with large feathers, spike coat, 
high collar, false beard, high boots ; very tough all around. 

Bessie. — Servant dress. 

Della. — Black dress, hair down, large white lace collar. 

Landlady. — Large flowered dress, pair of glasses, carpet 
slippers. 



PEOPERTIIS 

Bed quilt, sheet, coal shuttle with coal, large satchel, 
small bellows, old umbrella ; tray, napkin and lunch, large 
funnel, pitcher of water, feather duster, small pan of flour, 
small book, fancy back, sword or large knife, small basket, 
money, yard stick, large book. 



STA GE DIRECTIONS. 

E., means Riglit: l., Left; b. h., Rij:lit H;iiid; l. h., Left Hand; c, Center; s. e. 
\2A E.,] Second Entrance; v. e., Uiiyer Entrance; m. d., Middle Door; e., tlit: 
Flat; D. r., Door in Flat; r. c, Riglit of Center; l. c, Left oC Center. 

R. K. C. C. L. C. L. 

*;;:* The reader is supposed to be upon stage facing the audience. 



Pat McFree, the Irish Patentee. 

SCENE I. — Street scene, set house in l. 
Enter, Willie Ryan, r., 1 e., comes c. 



Willie. I left New York about six weeks ago with a full 
dramatic company, but business was dull and we could 
scarcely make enough to pay our board and car fare, but 
we managed to get along until last week, when we reached 
{some toion) we went under. I have disposed of all of my 
people but one, a comedian, and it seems impossible to shake 
him. I left him up the street a short time ago, and I hope 
he will find something to do. (Dick Jones heard singing 
offu., ^^ I have seen hettev days') Here he comes, I know 
that voice. 

Enter, Dick Jones, e., 1 e. 

DicJc. Hello, WilUe! Say, Y/on't you give me five cents, 
I have'nt had a bite to eat since yesterday morning ? 

Willie. Well, neither have I, and the worst of all is, I 
have'nt a cent, so go away and don't let me see you again. 

Dick, {shakes fist) Willie, I'm getting desperate, and 
the first fellow that comes alono; here, I'm n^oins; to rob. 

Enter, Pat, p.. , 1 e., venj sloiuly, whistling^ carrying a grip 
and imibrella. 

Willie. There comes your victim. 
Dick. Oh! I won't do a thing to him. 

{one on either side of Pat, they slap him on hack 

Wdlie. ] TT 11 I T • 1 
Dick. H^"°' I"^^- 



^ PAT McFBEE, THE IRISH FA TENTEE. 

Pat. {drops grlj^ and mnbrella) Hello ! boys. 
DicJ^. (z^6> Pat) I say, Irish, what have you got in your 
grip? 

Pat. Sure and I have a thousand dollars in there. 

W'll' \ {g^'cd) for it) A thousand dollars ! 

Pat. {pushes them away) Here, you blackguards, don'c 
get so Indianopolis around here. You see I have'nt exactly 
a thousand dollars, but I have a patent that will bring me 
a thousand dollars. 

t le. I Q|_^ J ^^ can't eat patents. 

Pat. Well, who the devil said anything about atin' it; 
yez see it's for moving houses and barns and sich like. 
[takes small hellows from grip) Now give me yer attenshin 
and 111 explain it to yez. Now, for instance, yez wanted to 
move a house, jist place the carbon there and the explosive 
there, and — {icorJcs 'beUoio< 

-lirni' \ That's fine ! {they slap him on hach 

Pat. Yes, I see it is. Now,. if yez want to move a birn 
or a hog coop, jist place the explosive there and the carbon 
there and — {same as lefore 

'miiie \ '^^^^^'^ wonderful, Irish. 

Pat. {places it hack in grip) Yes, to be sure it is, but 
say boys, could yez tell me where I could sthay all night ? 

Willie. Could we tell you ? Well I should say we can. 
Do you see this door right here ? {points to l. 

Pat. Yes sir, I do ! 

Willie. Well, just you go there and rap on the door, 
and when the lady comes, you tell her that you are a lord, 
looking for board. 

Pat. Thin I git in, do I ? 

S. } Then you get in. ' 

Dick. And if that don't work, just tell her you're an' 

actor 

Pat. Thin I do git in. 

Pick ) 

'^•i-f' \ Then you do get in {aside) nit. 



PAT McFREE, THE I1U><JL PATENTEE. 5 

Pat. {starts) All right boys, V\\ see yez down town in 
the mornin' and buy yez both some candy. 

I.^AT goes to door, lowers grip and raps on door, Land- 
lady appears, hroom in hand. 

Pat. Top the mornin' to yez, and are yez the lady of 
this place ? 

Lady. Sure and I am. 

Pat. Well, I'm a lord looking for board. 

Lady. Well sir! I niver kape lords. 

Pat. {ardde) Oh! she don't kape lords. (Willie <fm^ 
T)iQiK laugh) No, no! Landlady, I'm no lord, I'm an actor. 

Lady. Well, that .settles the whole business, for I 
wouldn't have an actor in my house at all, at all! 

{stamps foot and starts to go, hut is stop)ped hy Pat 

Pat. Hold on Lcandlady, I'm no actor,*"them blackguards 
there told me to say tint. (Willie and Dick e^eit, e. e.) 
I'll tell yez the truth, I'm a patentee. 

Lady. Oh ! so you are a patentee. Well thin vou can 
stay. 

Pat. Well, how much do yez charge for me bed and me 
supper. 

Lady. Five dollars. 

I^at. {drop)s grip and unibrellcC) Five — 

Lady. Five — 

Pat. Dollars. 

Lady. Dollars. 

Pat. Sure and I didn't want to buy the house, I jist 
wanted to sthay all night. 

Lady. Well that's what I always charge. 

Pat. Well I guess I'll try it, but I'd like a little supper 
before I go to roost. 

Lady. Well, come right in and Til show you to the din- 
ing room, 

Pat. {picl's uj? grip, etc) All right. 

{exeunt into house 



6 PAT McFREE, TEE IBISII PATENTEE. 

SCENE 11. — Table set, led clothes on floor, lacJc. 

Enter, Bessie, l. -el. , with supper on tray and lylaces on 
tahle — Pat sits at table, Ijxisy loith grip. 

Bessie. Tea or coffee sir! (Pat does not hear) Tea or 
coffee sir! 

Pat. {loolcs up) Was you talking to me? 
'Bessie. Yes sir! I said tea or coffee. 

Pat. Ain't yez got a little whiskey ? 

Bessie. No sir! we don't keep such stuff. 

Pat. Well I didn't want yez to kape it, I wanted to 
drink it. 

Bessie. Well, we haven't any. 

Pat. Thin I won't drink it, but sit down over there, I 
want to talk to yez. Say, what's your name? 

Bessie. That's none of your business. 

Pat. Say, v/ho named yez? 

Bessie. My papa did, sir ! 

Pat. Well, couldn't he find a better name than that for 
yez. 

Bessie. Ah I I guess you don't know much. 

Pat. Is that so! Say, Miss, yez don't know me, do yez? 

Bessie. No, who in the world are you ? 

Pat. I am a poet in disgust. Oh! sure I mane disguise. 

Bessie. Well, you may be a poet, but your looks don't 
show it, but if you are a poet, why just you go it. {throivs 
kiss) Ah ! there my baby. 

Pat. {aside) Baby, will yez look at that, (aloud) So 
yez would like to hear some of my poetry, would yez? 

Bessie. Yes, sir! it would please me very much. 

Pat. All right, here she goes: 'Toor little Fido, poor 
little pup, he could sthand on his hind feet if yez would hold 
his front feet up. Now poor little Fido, don't yez be lonely, 
for soon yez will be made into balogna." Now there is 
poetr}^ yez can eat. 

Bessie. That's very good, give us some more. 

Pat. {holds hand on stomach) Sure I'll niver say that 
again while I'm ating. 

Bessie. And why not ? 

Pat. Kase it spiles me appetite, {picks up nafldii) 
Say Miss, will yez please put that around my neck ? 



PAT McFBEE, THE TBI SIT PA TET^TEE, 7 

B ssle. Why certainly, {goes leltind Pat and places 
wqjJdn around lu's necl', meantime Pat fills mouth with 
crackers from small hoir\ Bessie coxtnts) Oie, two, three. 

Pat. {jinrq^s np, lltios out crackers and napkin) Say, 
what the devil vez tryin' to do? 

Bessie. ^X'lthing at all, sir! 

Pat. Well, I believe I'll go to bed. 

Bessie. Very well, I'll go and tell mamma to come and 
she'll show you where to sleep. (p,vit, l,, 2 e. 

(V KT places feet on tctble, dish in hand and cuts veru fast 

Enter, Landlady, l., 2 e., Pat removes feet. 

Tady. Did you wish to go^to bed ? 

Pat. Yes sir ! ma'am, if yez plaze. 

Tady. Well, I'll make your bed here, (arranges the 
Ijedding) Now this is your room and I want you to be very 
careful and not soil any of the furniture. You see, I have 
here two new chairs, this one cost me five dollars, {points 
to chair l.) and this one cost me twenty-five dollars. 

{'points to chair k. 

Pat. That old chair cost yez twenty-five dollars. 

Tady. Yes sir ! it did. 

Pat. Sure and I have an old chair at home I only paid 
twenty-five cents for and it's every bit as good as that one. 

Tady. {takes duster from %oall, goes to cJiair and dusts) 
Yes, but it ain't anything like this one at all. Just you sit 
down on it once, {she moves chair, Pat sits on floor) Oh ! 
I beg your pardon, I was only wiping off the dust. Now 
try it. 

Pat. {gets u])) No, thanks, but I wish yez would wipe 
off the dust next time before I come in. 

Tady. Well, we'll try to. {goes toward led) Oh! yes, 
and here is your bed too. Now please, be very careful and 
not soil any of the clothing, for you see it has silk sheets on 
it and they also cost a great deal of money. 

Pat. Silk shates on the bed ! 

Tady. Yes, sir ! it has. 

Pat.^ Sure and what kind of a bed do yez call that? 

Tady. That sir ! is a down bed. 

Pat. Yes, I see it's down on the floor, {readies down., 
thumps led icith his fist and looks at her) Say, Landlady, 



8 PAT McFREE, TEE IRISH PATENTEE. 

the geese that h\id those feathers must have been on the sick 
list, wasn't thev? 

Lady. Well, as to that I can't say, but I think 370U will 
find evej-y thing all right, and I suppose you are no doubt 
tired and sleepy and wish to retire, so I will bid you good- 
night. 

Pat. Good-night to yez. (Lady starts offi.) Oh ! hold 
on Landlady, {she stops) are yez bothered with any musqui- 
toes or skitten scats around here. 

Lady. No sir ! this is a very quiet place in that respect. 

Pat. {goes toward led) All right, good-night. 

Lady. Oh ! yes, there is one thing, perhaps, I had better 
tell you before I go, and that is, I have a daughter who is 
slightly demented. 

Pat. Dewhoted. 

Lady. Demented, that is, she is deranged. 

Pat. De-range — de-range. Oh! yes, de cook stove. 

Lady. No, no ! you don't understand. I will explain it 
to you. You S2e, my daughter and I were out riding not 
long at^o, in a carriage, and we had a pair of very high 
ppirited ponies. 

Pat. Yes, well yez want to be careful how yez give them 
little critters anything like that — 

Lady. Like what ? 

Pat. Them spirits. 

Lady. Oh ! no, no, no ! I mean they were lively and 
wanted to play. 

Pat. What did they want to play, base ball ? 

Lady. No, no ! they both got to kicking. 

Pat. I suppose the little divils wanted to play foot ball. 

Lady. Well, I don't know what they wanted to play, 
but they both ran away and threw my daughter out of the 
carriage, and ever since she has been crazy. 

Pat. Why, the poor brute. 

LadRj. {steps toward Mm) What's that ? 

Pat. {steps laclc) Oh ! I beg your pardon, I mane the 
poor gerril. 

Lady. Now she has free access to the whole house, so in 
case she should wander in here, don't get frightened at her, 
but just humor her in everything she says. Now she may 
lake you for her little kittie. 



FATIlcFBEE, THE lllisll VATEJ^TEE, 9 

Fat. Thill I play kittie, do I? 

Lady. Yes. 

Fat. Do I have to catch any rats. 

Lady. Oh! no, certainly not; or she may take you for 
her little dog, Vuitch. 

Fat. Yriiat, is he a Avaterbary watch? 

Lady. No, hj is a waterspanniel pup. 

Fat. Oh! I'm a rat-terrier when I get mad. 

F.a'}y. Well I think you will find everything all right, 
so I Avijl bid you good-night. 

Fat. {goes hack to led, starts to taJce C{f coat) Good- 
night. (Landlady sits in chair l., and takes seioing from 
apron pocket and seivs — Pat looks around) Will yez look 
at that ROW. {goes to Landlady) Landlady, {she looks 
vjj) I say, I believe I'll go to bed now. 

Lady. Very well, any time you like. We'll call you in 
time for breakfast. 

{she leg ins to sew, Pat goes hack and looks as before 

Fat. Oh ! yez blackguard, {goes to her again) I say, 
Landlady, I guess I'll go to bed. 

Lady, (busily seioing) Very Vv^ell; if you should want 
anything during the night, just ring the bell. 

Fat. {looks at her — aside) Yes, if yez don't get out of 
here, I'll wring yer neck for yez. [she still seios, Pat takes 
off coat, throws it on floor) I bet this time I do bring her. 
[gets on chair and hollcnvs very loud) I say, Landlady ! 
[she looks iip quickly) I'm going to bed ! 

Lady, {gets up) Oh! did you wish to go to bed right 
now ? 

Fat. Well I guess so. I've been sthanding- here for the 
last fifteen minutes saying good-night. {gets down 

Lady. Oh! very well, good-night. {exft, l., 2 e, 

Fat. {at bed) I guess I'll go to bed like a horse, with 
my shoes on. (lays doion, pulls sheet over him) My, Oh! 
my, this bed lays hard. 

Enter, Della, l., 1 e,, reading small book, goes to c, 
droj)S book. 

{raises ujy) Pll bet forty cents, that's the asylum. 

Fella, (eery heroic) I heir the sound of a horn, it is a 
fog horn on a rock bound coast. 



I 



10 PAT McFREE, THE IRISH PATENTEE. 

Pat. She's got water on the brain. 

Delia. I see a gleaming light. Oh ! say, what can it be? 

Pat. {Joolxs off) That's an old lantern hanging on a 
wild cherry tree. 

Delia, {looks at hivi) Whv, there's a man^ who can it 
be? 

Pat. My mamma always called me Pat McFree. 

Delia. (Jaughing) Why, that is Charlie — no you ain't 
Charlie. 

Pat. No, of course I ain't. 

Delia. I know who you are now. 

Pat. Well, I'm a .-on-of-a-gun if I do. 

Delia. You are the man that stole my child. Oh ! give 
me back my child. (Della on hnces, arms out) See nie 
un my knees, I emplore you. 

Pat. I ain't got your kid — you can search me, 

(turns his lyocJcets inside out 

Delia, {rises to her feet) No^ you ain't the man that 
stole my child, you're my little cousin Willie, {goes to him 

Pat. Here is where I play Willie. 

Della. Wliat's the matter, Willie, are you ill ? 

Pat. Yes, I don't think I'll live till morning. 

Della. Well, sit down and I'll get you a drink of water. 
{? AT sits cloivn, Della ea^its e., 2 e., and Be enters at same 
with large funnel, icJt'ch is stopped up in hottom, also 
pitcher of water, places funnel in Ids mouth, pours in 
icater) Wait a moment^ Willie, and I'll get you some more. 

{exit, E., 2 E. 

Pat. No, thanks, if you bring any more, put it in my 
trunk and I'll drink it in the morning. I'm going to bed 
now. (to audience) So good-night. 

{gets in Ijed, covers up) 

Enter, Bkown and Smith, r. e. — loth sing — lohile sing- 
ing, march f(9 e., 1 e., z^t) l., 1 e., %bp> lach of led at 

end of song. 

Brovjn. 

Smith. 

business well, we've come to measure you for your coffin and 
send you down to — boon-ta-ra-dum, boom-ta-ra-dum, boom 
— ta — ra — dum. 



Here we are two undertakers, Ave know our 



PAT McFRKE, THE IBISII PA TP.W TPP. 11 

Pat. ■ Boom ta-ra-dum. 

Broicn. (measures Pat ivith rule) Two feet. 

Smith, {ivrites in hooh — aloud) Two feet. 

Pat. {lifts \ip his feet^ Two fate. 

Broicn. {as hefore) Four foot ten. 

Smith, {as Ijefove) Four foot ten. 

Pat. .{loohs iijj) Four foot tin. 

Broicn. (very loud) What will you have gold or siivei- 
handles on your coffin? 

Pat. Oh ! I don't care what, put on some old ropes and 
get out of here, I want to go to sleep. 

Smith, {loud) Which do you prefer, white or black 
horses to your hearse ? 

Pat. Oh ! I don't care, put on an old team of mules if 
ycu w\ant to, I want to sleep. 

Smith' \ {^^''-^^'l out -R., sing ing) Your funeral will 

be to-morrow, your funeral will be to-morrow — here we are, 
tw^o undertakers, we know our business well; Ave've come 
to measure you for your coffin and send you down to — 

{crash outside, hoth exit r. e. 
Pat. {to audience) I wonder what will come next. 
(noise outside) Here comes a black poll-pa rot. 

Enter, Sambo Black, r,, 2 e., vjith coal shuttle, ivhistling, 
goes to foot of led, lifts up covers and piclis up coal, 
throics in shuttle, walhs clear around stage, exits R., 2 
E., still ichistling. 

Pat. {sits up) Fm a son-of-a-gun if I knew I was sleep 
ing in the coal house all this time. (lays down 

^;^i^f7', James Wallace, R., 1 e., flashes large sioord or 

hnife. 

James. One more victim and then my revenge is com- 
plete. The Irishman next. Ha, ha, ha, ha! 

Exit. Ja2I£S, l , 1 E., long steps — Pat gets up, grals coat, 
tries to p)ut it on upside down. 

Enter, Landlady, l., 2 e. 

Lady. What in the world is all of this noise about ? 



12 PAT McFREE, THE IBI8H PATENTEE. 

Pat talies hellowsfrom grip and hlows at her, she throios 
up hands, screams and exit, l., 2 e. 

Enter, Della, k., 2 e. 

Delia. What's the matter, WilHe? 

(Pat repeats the same, she screams and exit, r., 2 e. 

Enter, Bessie, l., 1 e. 

Bessie. Say, old man, have you got snakes ? 

Pat does same iirith her, she screams and exit L., 1 e. — Pat 
I'jys patent down, starts to put on coat token curtain 
starts, he droj)S coat, pichs up p)atent, gets under cur- 
tain and hlows it and it rises. He should do this two 
or three times, the curtain getting lower each time, 
finally getting so low that Pat lays doion on lach and 
worJiS hellows until curtain reaches stage. 

SLOW CURTAIN. 

THE END. 



Beri C. Rawley's Latest Play, Entiled 
'up ppie^riiiM 




^4 Comedy Drama in 3 ads. 7 male and 1 female cJiarac 

ier. Time of jperformance 1 hour and 20 minides. 

Costumes io sud characters. 



'^^^^ SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS, i^^— 

ACT I. Scene I.— Hiissell Freeman's liome— The day's events reviewed— The 
i-eporter in Inck — A brave rescue — "Juicy Avatermillious" — The Aristocratic 
-eiit arrives — That awful disease love, afQicts Sambo— C.-ileb overhears a little 
private conversation — A strike imminent — Shnrii begins liis sclieiniiio- — Caleb 
up to snuff — I'm an aristocrat, one of the 400:" Scne //.— (-';!lclj solilorinizes^ 
•■I am Paradise Lost!" — A heated interview between Golden and Sljarp — The 
<1emand refused — Tar and featliers — The aristocrat on deck — The verdict — "No 
cause of action'." — Caleb introduces his celebrated court plaster. 

ACT II.— Caleb writes a letter— The Reporter discusses the strike and "Sound 
r.Ioney" — "Knocks counterfeit silly" — Caleb's views of the strike — A dark dis- 
cussion, in which Dinah is badly misused — The false friend — "My day will come, 
sir!" — Caleb Cork — "Oil! I'm onto you" — Sambo secui-eshis 'tachment papers— 
The false friend in a new sole — Golden discharged from tlie mill — Sliarp 
triumpliant, and Caleb sells more court plaster. 

ACT IIT. ^cene I. — Wood scene — Guy prepares to leave, visions of the past— 
T!ie Aristocrat again on hand — ''Turn back, my lad" — Dinah grains a point, and 
s.-imbo nearly looses his ear — The striker's face starvation— Sliarp in the toils 
— The trap sprung. Scene JI. — Freeman's home — Colored courtship- Caleb Cork 
;is a peace maker — Golden'S' story — Warren Sharp in the hands of the strikers 
— David tell a story, Caleb follows suit — The day of reckoning- — Warren Sliarp) 
leaves in disgrace— The Reporter puzzled— Guy is reinstated at the mill— Caleb 
]ii-esents the reporter of the Daily Grit with one of his double jointed, double 
.-iction, stick tight court plasters. 

PRICE 15 CENTS EACH- 

Ames' Series of Medleys No. 2. 

Suitable for schools and home entertainments, by B. F. Eberhart. 
This No. contains a number of short dialoo'ues and recita- 
tions, suitable for young people from 8'to 16 years. 
No stage scenery necessary, and is not 
difficult to render. 



Contains the following pieces: A Welcome Dialogue; A Ten 
Cent Fool; Baby's Tooth; George AYashinu-ton: Playing "Grown-up;" 
Baby Elephant: Pantomimes, Wanted an Office 'Boy and a Ke'w 
Kind of Partition. " p^ice IScts. 



FUN! FUNI! FUNII! 

THE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET — JUST PUBLISHED, 
ENTITLED 

^ CAPTURED; ^ 

OR, 

The Old Maid's Triumph. 

Four Acts— Four Male, Five Female Characters. 



Scenery Easily Managed. Costumes Modern. Characters all 

Good. Telling Situations. Susan Tabitha (tlie old Maid) 

takes the Audience by Storm, as slie tries to marry 

every man she meets; if lie don't propose she 

does; final succesa of Susan. If you want 

a play that is full of fun, and 

sure to please you, order a 

copy of CAPTURED. 

FBIGE 15 CENTS. 

Act I. — Home of the Windchester's— Frank Westfield— Arrival 
of the ''Old Maid" ; "I'm tickled een-a-most to deatli to see you !" 
"Mother Goose's Melodies"— Susan's experience in the stage coacli. 
"Only twenty-four, brother."— Christopher Columbus! where am I 
gjoing?"— "I see you, Frankie."— Susan's opinion of Jane.— Polly — 
Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield — his aston- 
ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms.— Tableau. 

Act II.— Susan's explanation.— "Slang Debolishers Union"— 
"You'd better begin at home I "—A wielower-" Good land! if I 
could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn't feel fit to 
soar to the land of milk and honey I"— Sam Sly, Polly's lover, who 
is a widower.— "If he does not propose, J will!"— Susan and Sam 
Sly .—Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. 
Her anger, and fall.— Susan and Sly loose their wigs. 

Act 111.— Joshua Pratt.— Susan's fear of men.— "Help! help!" 
Discovers Joshua — Eidiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. 
"There's nothing half so sweet in life, as love's young dream. "-Eats. 
"Help! thieves!"— "It might run up my leg!"— The rescue- 
Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and 
get married.- The departure. 

Act IV. — Home of Susan Tabitha—Sallie— Discovery of Joshua's 
poverty— Susan's anger and disappointment--" Can we get up ?"-Susan 
cuffs Joshua's ears— Dinner — "Can we eat dinner?"— Susan relates 
her experience to Sallie— Telegram— Arrival and cool reception of 
Charles Westfield and wife— Joshua sleeps— Susan knocks over his 
chair, pulls his hair— A bank check— Susan's promise.— Happy 
ending. 



JUST OUT-A New Temperance Play ! 

Hot; the IVIinEr's JJ aughtGr, 

— OR, 

One Ulass nf W^ine. 

IN FOUR ACTS. 
D BAM AT IS FEBSONJE. 

Da^'id Mason A farmer. 

Heehert Mason David^s son— just from college. 

Royal Meadows Foster-son of Mrs. Clifton. 

Artjiuh Floyd A villain. 

GeorcjE Clifton A returned Californian. 

Parson Swift An astonished clergyman. 

Bill Torry A boatman — Floyd^s confederate. 

Brewster Police officer. 

Ebony A colored individual. 

Mrs. Mason David's wife — a good adviser. 

Dolores ? The miner's daughter. 

Mrs. Clifton George Clifton's deserted wife. 

WiNNiFRED Clifton Mrs. Clifton'' s daughter. 

Hapzibah A lady of color. 

Festival nf Eays. 

A NEW AND OBI GIN AL SEBIES OF TABLEAUX. 
It is especially <leslgiie<l Toi* Aiiiateiii' Companies, as it re- 
quires only a platforiM, no scenery feeing necessary 
for its production. Mirlli and Sadness are 
well combined. Cosimaes Modern, 
Time one laoiir. Tlie follo^?5lng 
are tlie days represented. 
Price 15 Cents— Order a Copy. 

characters. 
"Reader. 

New Year Chorus of girls in white. 

Washington's Birthday George Washington. 

Valentine's Day Maiden and lover. 

St. Patrick's Day Chorus of hoys. 

Washing Day Girls at tubs. 

House-Cleaning Day Man and woman. 

April Fool's Day Old maid, and little boy. 

Ash Wednesday Monk. 

Good Friday Women at cross. 

Easter Chorus of girls in ivhite. 

May Day May queen, chorus of children. 

Memorial Day '. Tivo soldiers. 

July Fourth Uncle Sam, boys. 

Emancipation Day Darkey. 

Hallowe'en Group of girls. 

Thanksgiving Day Man, little girl. 

Christmas Group of children. 



Katie's Deception; 



-OR- 



The Troublesome Kid. 



Farce in 1 act, l\v W. L. Bennett, 4 male and 2 female characters. 
Costumes m(^(!ern. Time of playing, 30 minutes. A bright 
sparkliijg- farce for amateurs. Good negro charac- 
ter. Farmer from "AYay back" answers 
Katie's matrimonial advertisement. 
Characters are all good. 
Price 15 cents. 



Our Family Umbrella. 

A Comedietta in 2 acts, by E. E. Cleveland, 4 male and 2 female 
characters. Scenery interior. Costumes modern. The old man 
character is excellent, is alway buying umbrellas, but never has one 
when needed. Amateurs will find this a good after-piece. 

Price loG. 



Yacob's Hotel Experience. 

Farce in 1 act by B. F. Eberhart, 3 male characters. Time of 
playing 20 minutes. This will make a good after-piece. The dutch- 
man is immense. His experience in a first class hotel is uproarously 
funny — 

HOME RULE. 

A Charade in 2 scenes, by the author of Yacob's Hotel Experience, 

8 male and 3 female characters. Time of playing, 

20 minutes. Price 15 cents. 

IHIMI iiiiM H i n I i m i i ii w Ill II I 

Joan of Arc Drill. 

A Spectacular Shepherd drill for 8 to 16 girls, by B. F. 
Eberhart. This drill is simple" and easy to get up, requiring no 
scenery, can be produced indoor or out, no special music is needed 
in the march. Costume, Shepherd girls dress— girls carry a 
Shepherd's crook. A diagram gives the line of march, so it is easily 
understood. Ends with a tableau of Joan of Arc at the stake. 

Price 15 cents. 



m 



"^ 



itniEs' Plays— G antiniiBd. 



146 

53 
51 
59 
102 
63 
62 
58 

324 
136 

168 
124 
257 
248 
178 
176 
207 
T99 
174 
158 
149 
37 
237 
838 
126 
265 
114 
264 

219 
239 
221 
262 
87 
131 
240 

16 



Our Awful Aunt | 4 

Out in the Streets 6 4 

Rescued - 5 o 

Saved 2 3 

Turn of the Tide 7 4 

Three Glasses a Day 4 I 

Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 3 

Wrecked 9 -5 

COMEDIES. 
A Day In A Doctor's Oflace... 5 

A Legal Holiday § 

A Pleasure Trip 7 

An Afflicted Family 7 

Caught in the Act. ( 

Captured 6 

Cast« 5 

Factory Girl 6 

Heroic Dutchman of '76 8 

Home 4 

Love's Labor Not Lost 3 

Mr.Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 

New iTears in N. Y 7 

Not So Bad After All 

Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 3 

OurB>ys... 6 4 

Our Daughters 8 6 

Pug and the Baby 5 3 

Jfassions 8 4 

Prof. Jam«s' Experience 

Teaehins: Country School 4 

Rags and Dottles 4 

Scale with Sharps and Flats.. 3 

Solon Shingle 14 

Two Bad Boys 7 



6 5 



The Biter Bit. 
The Cigarette. 

$2,000 Reward 

TRAGEDIES. 
The Serf 



6 3 

FARCES & COMEDIETTAS. 

129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 

132 Actor and Servant 1 1 

316 Aunt Charlotte's Maid 3 3 

289 A Colonel's Mishap 5 

12 A Capital Match 3 2 

303 A Kiss in the Dark 2 3 

166 ATexan Mother-in-Law 4 2 

30 A Day Well Spent 7 5 

169 A Regular Fix 2 4 

286 A Professional Gardener 4 2 

80 Alarmingly Suspicious .... 4 3 

320 AllInAMudile 3 3 

78 An Awful Criminal 3 3 

313 A Matchmaking Father 2 2 

31 A Pet of the Public 4 2 

21 A Romantic Attachment 3 3 

123 A Thrilling Item 3 1 

20 A Ticket of Leave 3 2 

329 A Valets, Mistake 5 4 



^ 



324 A Day in a Doctors Office 5 1 

175 Betsey Baker 2 2 



fo. M. r. 

8 Better Half 5 2 

86 Black vs. White 4 2 

22 Captain Smith -3 3 

84 Cheek Will Win 3 

287 Cousin Josiah 1 1 

225 Cupids Capers 4 4 

317 Cleveland's Reception Party. 5 3 

249 Double Election 9 1 

49 Der Two Surprises 1 1 

72 Deuce is in Him 5 1 

19 Did I Dream it 4 3 

220 Dutchy vs. Nigger 3 

188 Dutch Prize Fighter S 

42 Domestic Felicity 1 1 

148 Eh? What Did You Say. 3 1 

218 Everybody Astonished 4 

224 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 

233 Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 

154 Fun in a Post Office 4 2 

184 Family Discipline 1 

274 Family Jars 5 2 

2U9 Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 

13 Give Me My Wife 3 3 

307 Hallabahoola, the Medicine 

Man 4 3 

66 Hans, the Dutch J. P 3 1 

271 Hans Brummel's Cafe 5 

116 Hash 4 2 

120 H. M.S. Plum 1 1 

50 How She has Own Way 1 3 

140 How He Popped the Quest'n. 1 1 

74 How to Tame M-in-Law 4 2 

35 How Stout Your Getting 5 2 

247 Incompatibility of Temper... 1 2 

95 In the Wrong Clothes 5 S 

305 Jacob Shlaff's Mistake 3 2 

299 Jimmie Jones 3 2 

11 John Smith 5 3 

323 Johanes Blatz's Mistake 4 3 

99 Jumbo Jum 4 3 

82 Killing Time 1 1 

182 Kittie's Wedding Cake..... 1 3 

127 Lick Skillet Wedding 2 2 

228 Lauderbach's Little Surprise 3 

302 Locked in a Dress-maker's 

Room 3 2 

106 Lodgings for Two 3 

288 Love in all Corners 5 3 

139 Matrimonial Bliss 1 1 

231 Match for a other-Min-Law.. 2 2 

235 More Blunders than one 4 3 

69 Mother's Fool 6 1 

23 My Heart's in Highlands 4 3 

208 My Precious Betsey 4 4 

212 My Turn Next 4 3 

32 My Wife's Relations 4 4 

186 My Day and Now-a^Daya 1 

273 My Neighbor's Wife 3 3 

296 Nanka's Leap Year Venture.. 5 2 

2.59 Nobody's Moke.... 6 2 

340 Our Hotel „ 6 S 

384 Olivet 8 2 

44 Obedience 1 « 

33 On the Sly 3 2 

rfi 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 



B" 



iLmes' Plays. 



M. p. NO. 




57 
217 
165 
195 
159 
171- 
180 
267 
309 

48 
138 
115 

55 
327 
232 
241 
270 
1 
326 
339 
137 
328 
252 
315 

40 

38 
101 
167 
291 



285 
68 
295 
54 
28 
292 
142 
276 
263 
7 
281 
312 
269 
170 
213 
332 
151 
56 
70 
135 
U7 
155 

111 
157 



17 
130 



215 



Paddy Miles' Boy „ 5 2 

Patent. Washing Machine 4 1 

Persecuted Dutchman 6 3 

PoorPilicody 2 3 

Quiet Family 4 4 

Rough Iriamond 4 3 

Ripples 2 p 

Room 44 2 

Santa Claus' Daughter 5 4 

Schnaps 1 1 

Sewing Circle of Period U 5 

S. H. A. M. Pinafore 3 3 

Somebody's Nobody 3 2 

Strictly Temperance 2 2 

Stage Struck Yankee ^..4 2 

Struck by Lightning 2 2 

Slick and Skinner 5 

Slasher and Crasher 5 2 

Too Many Cousins 3 8 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix 2 

Takine the Census 1 1 

The Landlords Revenge 3 

That Awful Carpet Bag 3 

That Rascal Pat 3 

That Mysterious B'dle 2 

The Bewitched Closet 5 

The Coming Man 3 

Turn Him Out 3 

The Actor's Scheme 4 

The Irish Squire of Squash 

Ridge 4 

The Mashers Mashed ■"> 

The Sham Professor 4 

TheSpellin' Skewl.. 7 

The Two T. J's 4 

Thirty- three Next Birthday.. 4 

Tim Flannigan 5 

Tit for Tat 2 

The Printer and His Devils. 
Trial? of a Country Editor..., 
The Wonderful Telephone..., 

Two Aunt Emilys 

Uncle Ethan 

Uniust Justice 

U.S. Mail 

Vermont Wool Dealer 

'WTiich is Which 

Wanted a Husband 

Wooing Under DiflBcultie?..., 

Which vdll he Marry 

Widower's Trials 

Waking Him Up '■ 

Why they Joined the Re- 
beccas 

.Yankee Duelist 

Yankee Peddler 



ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

2 )4 Academy of Stars 6 

325 A Coincidence 8 

65 An Unwelcome Return 3 1 

15 An Unhappy Pair 1- 1 

172 Black Shoemaker 4 2 

98 Black Statue 4 2 



GUIDE BOOKS. 

Hints on Elocution 

Hints to Amateurs 

CANTATA. 
On to Victory ^ 



22 Colored Senators. 

214 Chops 3 

145 Cuff's Luck 2 1 

190 Crimps Trip 5 

27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 

153 Haunted House 2 

230 Hamlet the Dainty 6 1 

103 How Sister Paxey got her 

Child Baptized 2 I 

24 Handy Andy 2 

236 Hypochondriac The 2 

319 In For It 3 

47 In the Wrong Box 3 

77 Joe's Visit 2 

88 Mischievous Nigger 4 

256 Midnight Colic ; 2 

128 Musical Darkey 2 

90 No Cure No Pay 3 

61 Not as Deaf as He Seeos 3 

244 Old Clothes 3 

234 Old Dad's Cabin 2 1 

150 OldPompey 1 1 

246 Othello 4 1 

109 Other People's Children 3 

297 Pomp Green's Snakes 2 

134 Pomn's Pranks....... 2 

258 Prof. Bones'Latest Invention 5 

177 Quarrelsome Servants 3 

96 Rooms to Let 2 

107 School 5 

133 Seeine Boating 3 

179 Sham Doctor 3 

94 16.000 Years Ago 3 

243 Sports on a Lark 3 

25 Sport with a Sportsman 2 

92 Stage Struck Darkey 2 

238 Strawberry Shortcake 2 

10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down 2 

M That Boy Sam 3 



1 



1 

2.53 The Best Cure 4 1 

282 The Intelligence Office 3 

122 The Select School 5 

118 The Popcorn Man 3 1 

6 The Studio 3 

m Those Awful Boys 5 

245 Ticket Taker 3 

4 Twain's Dodging 3 1 

197 Tricks 5 2 

198 Uncle Jel! 5 2 

216 Vice Versa 3 1 

206 Villkens and Dinah 4 1 

210 Virginia Mumncv- 6 1 

203 Who Stole the Omckene 1 1 

2f)5 William Tell 4 Q 

156 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 

Happy Franks Songter 



ai. 



The Little:Gem Makc-Up Box. Price 50 Cents. 



